UNTITLED.

Weekend Shoe Candy.

2011-09-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

2011-09-22T20:22:00.001-07:00

If I knew then what I know now, Boy I tell ya'... But God makes no mistakes. Everything he's put me through was for a reason and I trust HIM fully.

Chapter23

2011-09-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

I turn 23 today. Not yet sure how I'm feeling. Whenever my birthday approaches I always sit back and reflect on the past year. My mistakes, my lessons, my everything. A year sure did fly. Funny how this time last year I thought I found my KING. Oh life is so funny.

Here's to 23.

2011-09-08T08:14:00.001-07:00

How can I expect change... If I keep doing the same things?

2011-08-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

When will I be able to enjoy my best
Just lay down and get normal comfortable rest
Stare at my ceiling with nothing but good thoughts in mind
Have a family and companion of love and no more negative waste of time
Open my eyes and breath in a new day
Have a mouth full of blessings with nothing but christ like things to say
Open my arms to hug an array of surprises
And not have to clothed myself in pain and hurt disquises
Run my fingers thru my hair and smile at self
Knowing that 100 is my new health
Kiss my love on the nose
Knowing the next step of our relationship is for him to propose
Sing in the shower about how good God has been
While washing away a night full of dirty sin
Dressing in the purest of whites
To enjoy some beautiful sunlight
Listening to the birds and playing footsies in the central park grass
Giggles and laughter is all that I ask
Heart felt moments that bring joyful tears to eyes
The tasting of my favorite apple pies
Deep thoughts of being swallowed by eternal bliss
Never worrying about having just one last kiss
Him being me and me being he
Together basking in a commited unity
When will it occur, 22 years, prayers and wishes went up in the sky
God can you bless with me with my highest high
Eat, Pray and Love is what I present to you
My heart is pure and yes this is true
Now bless away, fill me with morning joy and your amazing grace
As I present you with my gifts of praise and show you my holy space
I kneel to you because you are the answer to my all
And if I ever hit rock bottom, in your arms is where I know I should fall
No matter where my mind will drift off to today
I know with you by my side I will always find my way
So God I ask in my bold stands
In the mist of love, my health and family stress just right now can you hold both my hands

2011-08-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

"I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have my everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time--everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."

This qoute defines me so perfectly its scary. I don't know if it's a positive thing that I get so lost inside of the person that I am in love with but I do. Often times this leaves me lonely... not many can deal with this. I will be at HIS beck and call anything he needs or desires I would be happily willing to provide. If HE says baby jump I will ask baby how high? Many find this to be crazy. They say I give too much of myself when I get into these relationships but why would I only give half of myself to someone that could potentially be my husband????

2011-08-14T15:05:00.001-07:00

Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

2011-08-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

Celibacy Blues

2011-08-10T19:16:00.001-07:00

"It's been hard to sleep at night,

Night, scratchin' it right

I get some new batteries almost every night

Lord, this here celibacy thing....

2011-08-10T16:48:00.001-07:00

2011-08-04T20:51:00.001-07:00

DO NOT REBOUND! Deal with it. All of it. The emotions, the sleepless nights, the lonliness. Go out with the girls, engage in some retail therapy atleast 4x's a week and watch as much Sex&TheCity as possible. And trust me when you reach that point where you are OVER IT, I mean truly truly OVER IT, it will feel astonishing.

Must Haves.

2011-08-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

1) Neutrogena Make-up Remover 2) Clean&Clear Moisturizer 3) Garnier Eye Roll-on 4) Revlon Translucent Powder 5) Clinique Double Face Make-up

2011-08-03T18:46:00.001-07:00

What you want isn't always what you need. Or so I've learned...

♥

2011-08-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

SIMBA Platform Shoe Boots

Love Black Colour Block Suede Platform Sandal

Swagger Zebra Print Brushed Suede Platform Shoes

2011-08-02T17:46:00.000-07:00

2011-07-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

"I believe life is about trial and error. I tried you and you were an error.

-Jungle Justine

FABULOUS.

2011-07-30T20:43:00.001-07:00

2011-07-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

If we listened to our intellect we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical: “It’s gonna go wrong.” Or “She’s going to hurt me.” Or,”I’ve had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore” Well, that’s nonsense. You’re going to miss life. You’ve got to jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down.

- Ray Bradbury

Again & Again

2011-07-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

Back on it for the umpteenth time.

C/O 2011

2011-05-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Next?

2011-05-17T19:32:00.001-07:00

I'm graduating college on Thursday and I don't have the slightest clue as to whats next.

Very scary feeling.

Bucket List

2011-05-10T18:53:00.000-07:00

I want to make a summer bucket list. First thing on my list:

GET A TATTOO!

2011-05-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

“With me, the present is forever, and forever is always shifting, flowing, melting. This second is life. And when it is gone it is dead. But you can’t start over with each new second. You have to judge by what is dead. It’s like quicksand… hopeless from the start. A story, a picture, can renew sensation a little, but not enough, not enough. Nothing is real except the present, and already, I feel the weight of centuries smothering me. Some girl a hundred years ago once lived as I do. And she is dead. I am the present, but I know I, too, will pass. The high moment, the burning flash, come and are gone, continuous quicksand. And I don’t want to die.”

Sylvia Plath

Basically...

2011-04-28T14:02:00.001-07:00

2011-04-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

Note To Self

2011-04-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

Act & adapt accordingly
Grow from negativity
Learn from all experiences (the good & the bad)
MEDITATE
Master the pain
Question things

Writers Block????

2011-04-25T09:18:00.001-07:00

Not touched.. Moved.. or Inspired. I'm just not!

iPhone Love.

2011-04-22T08:40:00.001-07:00

Never been the type to keep up with the lastest & greatest but the iPhone, chilllddddd I honestly don't know how people go on without one. It's the most convenient thing ever!

My Breaking Point

2011-04-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to talk to anyone. I thought I had the strength to deal with it. But today after a very long day of work & classes it all fell apart. I simply just walked up stairs, silently opened the door and fell to the floor and let out the most sincerest cries of my life.

Spring Cleaning

2011-04-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

I need a cleansing. I'm not speaking of eating the right foods and getting my health back on track, although that would be a nice plus. I need a different kind of cleansing. I need an emotional, spiritual, "gettin' rid of this and that person because they do me no good", "throwin' out this and that habit because it's gotten me nowhere" cleansing. I need to perspire this hate, wipe my pores clean of procrastination. Rid myself of aimless anger and dreadful lust. I need to lock up regret and throw away the key. I need a "I'm fastin' on everything that has ever resulted in me crawling up in a corner and cursing myself out for letting my life come to this" cleansing. I don't so self pity. I don't do self hate. I need a cleansing that will hurl me into forgiveness and plant my feet on solid grounds paved with new beginnings. This is a cleansing I've been avoiding because, ultimately, it calls for more work and determination than I've put into the last 4 months of school. But I need it. It has to reach the depths and nooks, crevices, gaps, and valleys where the build-up has hardened. I need this cleansing like I need a promise worth keeping.

2010-07-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

I discovered that my obsession for having each thing in the right place, each subject at the right time, each word in the right style, was not the well-deserved reward of an ordered mind, but just the opposite: a complete pretense invented by me to hide the disorder of my nature. I discovered that I am not disciplined out of virtue but as a reaction to my negligence, that I appear generous in order to conceal my meanness, that I pass myself off as prudent because I am evil-minded, that I am conciliatory in order not to succumb to my repressesd rage, that I am punctual only to hide how little I care about other people’s time

- Memories of My Melancholy Whores - Gabriel Garcia Marque